Please help the homeless. Take me home with you...
More Random Sms Jokes
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A genuine reason for having two girlfriends at a time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!
I used to be thin, rich and on coke. Now I'm broke, out of shape and on facebook.
Why women live a better, longer & a peaceful life? Because, women don't have a wife.
But what gets longer when pulled, fits between a womans teats inserted neatly in a hole and works best when jerked hard?................................ of course its a seat belt
So A Redneck Goes Into A Whorehouse….......He's got five bucks and is horny, so he thinks to himself, "Maybe I'll go to that whorehouse I've been hearin' so much 'bout." The redneck walks in, approaches a very burlesque, good-looking woman and says, "I've got 5 bucks, give me your best."
A man to Santa: Ur friend is kissing ur wife in ur home. Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour n slapped the man n said: He's not my friend.
A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min.. A beer shortens your life by 4 min.. A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..
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