Q: How long is the average woman in labor?
A: Whatever she says divided by two.
More Random Sms Jokes
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About 50% of parents "friend" their children on Facebook. The other 50% find less technological ways to embarrass the shit out of their kids.
The angry wife met her husband at the door. His breath stunk of alcohol and his face was plastered with lipstick. "I assume," she barked, "There is a very good reason for you to come drifting in at six o'clock in the morning?" "There is!" he replied, "Breakfast."
I only use de-oudourant under one arm, so I know what I would have smelled of.
Alcohol contain female hormones. Proof: Men gain weight, talk unnecessarily, become extra emotional & stupid, start fighting without any reason.
TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his? DESMOND: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
After 3 hrs of sex Santa said to his galfriend: U r not going to see me for a while. Gal: R u going away? Santa: No..No... Now turn around
Santa: In all AIDS ads, they talk of safe sex. What is safe sex? Banta: Oye, safe sex is when wife is out of town!
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