Yo mamma so fat , she ordered a big mac at mcdonalds, and the manager said 'you are already fat enough you have to get another man to eat it for you'
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Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window? A: He wanted to see butterfly!
Which is most difficult sport in the world to watch? Women's doubles tennis- 9 balls bounce at a time and you don't know which one to watch.
Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him. Next day he closed his bank account. Know why? Because the bank's slogan was: We make your dreams come true...
I used to be thin, rich and on coke. Now I'm broke, out of shape and on facebook.
Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
Specialties of girls: They get wet without taking bath. They bleed without injury. They give milk without eating grass. They make boneless things hard ....
How do you keep an idiot in suspense............?? Tell you later........
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